my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
