I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
