we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
