Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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