There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize