So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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