your thong is hanging out like whoa
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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