Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
