Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
