do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
