MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
