Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize