Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
