idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
