I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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