the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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