My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
