I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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