"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
