I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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