Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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