Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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