The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
