I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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