I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
