Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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