We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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