cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize