I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
