kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
