new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
