Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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