when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
