Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
