I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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