Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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