I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
