I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
