I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
