He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
