She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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