If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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