Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
