just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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