I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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