some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
