He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
