Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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