We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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