i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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