he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize