Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
