not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
