I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
