i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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