Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
