You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
