the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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