There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When are your genitals available?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
