you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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