sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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